Wish I was there

I'm back from vacation! I always feel awkward that first day back from vacation, when everyone asks about it, because I feel pressured to give a detailed blow-by-blow account of the trip, when people really only want to hear that it was "really fun."

So here, in a nutshell, were the highlights (and not-so-highlights) of my vacation.

1. It was very pirate-themed, as you can see from this picture-- which, by the way, if you show anyone this picture of me in a bathing suit and/or comment about the sad state of my thighs, I'll kill you. Most of our free time was spent scouring the boardwalk for pirate-themed souvenirs and accoutrements for our pirate outfits.

2. The sunset cruise, long a staple of the Shable family Rehoboth Beach vacation, was cancelled due to the escalating price of gasoline, thus only deepening my insane obsession the price of gas.

3. I got a killer tan, although it is not evident in this picture. But trust me, it's TOTALLY killer.

4. I got buried in the sand, which is much scarier and more claustrophobic than carefree parental nostalgia make it appear to be. However, once you get used to it, it's really quite cozy, to the point where I only eventually got up because I had to pee, and there was sand in my butt.

5. Ben and I got whistled at by the lifeguard, and-- here is a little known fact about me, I have an insane fear of lifeguards. I always have, ever since my dad started taking me to Geauga Lake when I was little and they would point ominously into the water in my general direction and blow their whistles in a threatening manner. Even though my best friend Megan and I were once actually rescued from certain death-by-smashing-into-a-jetty by a very nice lifeguard, I still totally fear them. So when this lifeguard whistled at us, I panicked, which caused a series of waves to break right on top of me, once again filling my swimsuit with sand and retiring me to the beach for a short while.

All in all, my vacation was "really fun," and I really wish it were still going on right now. But still, a vacation isn't a vacation if you never have to go back to work. But seriously? That's bullshit, I just want to be on vacation forever.

Summer lovin'

As I ready myself for vacation, I find myself finally getting into the swing of summer, which is sad, because according to all the stores around here, it is now Back To School Time, and I need to purchase my Trapper Keeper posthaste, lest it suddenly morph into Halloween.

So in an effort to maintain that summer groove, I thought I'd give shout-outs to the things that have received much props from your homey this summer:

1. Cherikee Red Pop. The world's most racist soda! And yet, so very tasty... I was first introduced to Cherikee Red at Camp Hidden Hollow, where the Aurora High School Marching Band held its band camp. Cherikee Red was the only thing that made skit day bearable...

2. David Hasselhoff's "Jump In My Car" video (see below). Okay, at first I thought it was funny, but now I get it stuck in my head sometimes, like at work, which is really embarrassing. But Evil Ejector KITT is so hard to resist! I wonder how many other ladies he has seduced in this manner...

3. The return of Flavor of Love on VH1! This evening, at 10/9 Central. Watch it! Watch it or perish! Because no one watched it last time, and that left me with no one to discuss The Great Pumpkin Spitting Incident, or to quote Goldie-isms to. So please watch, so that we can have long, spirited discussions about it. Also, according to the promo I watched (multiple) times yesterday, someone is going to crap on Flav's floor during this episode. How can you resist?

4. Snap peas. They're delicious AND nutricious! Really, I like them. It's a whole new me!

So check these things out and indulge yourself for once! In the meantime, I'm going to be putting the finishing touches on my Tiny Toiletry collection (I acquired the Tiny Gel and Tiny Shave Cream I needed on Friday!), praying I can learn how to upload video content from the video camera my parents lent me (if ANYONE has any idea how I can upload from a PV-GS9, PLEASE let me know, as I am now desperate to memorialize every second of my two upcoming vacations, as well as several weddings and hilarious cuteness between the dog and cat), and doing many crunches and leg lifts in a feeble attempt to not look like I am wearing a fanny pack under my swimsuit. We're leaving Tuesday, so I may be going dark for the week, although I'm secretly hoping that the hotel has wireless access... because yes, I am depraved and sad like that.