I am herbivorous

Just as an update, I totally ate the salad. I added some sunflower seeds and a few slivers of grilled chicken, and it was fabulous. I even passed up a trip to the much beloved Pizza Hut all-you-can-eat* buffet to enjoy it. I am so healthy, it's scary.

The best part is, having eaten such a healthy lunch, I am now free to eat a ginormous celebratory dinner this evening. With dessert. Because I earned it through matchstick carrots.

*For the longest time, I did not know that AYCE on a restaurant's sign meant "all you can eat." I thought it was some sort of weird code, or the name of a group, like the BPOE (I don't know what that stands for, either, but it seems sinister). But then I thought, why would the AYCE (which I perceived, for some reason, to be like a religious organization) eat wings at Hooters? That's when it all came together for me...

Baby's first salad

Behold! I made a salad!

Having never actually made a salad before in my entire life (more on this in a moment), I obviously also made a really big mess. And no, there is no Febreze in my salad. But the point is, I did it-- I personally assembled a salad with more than five ingredients, for the sole purpose of my consumption at lunch tomorrow. Since I figured that no one would believe me (particularly Ashley, with whom I was on the phone during the assemblage of said salad), I thought I would photograph my triumph, even though it reveals the embarrassing fact that, as I did not know how to properly toss the salad, I just transferred it to a bigger container and shook it up and transferred it back.

Those of you who are relatively new to this blog will not realize the significance of this event, and walk away shaking your head, oddly vexed by my salad retardation.

But those of you who have known me for awhile, I hope you appreciate the sheer magnitude of this situation. I made a salad. And I'm going to eat it. Unless I panic, throw it out, and go to Long John Silver's. But I'm hoping Healthy Kim prevails. Especially since this salad took me like 20 minutes to make.

Summer lovin'

As I ready myself for vacation, I find myself finally getting into the swing of summer, which is sad, because according to all the stores around here, it is now Back To School Time, and I need to purchase my Trapper Keeper posthaste, lest it suddenly morph into Halloween.

So in an effort to maintain that summer groove, I thought I'd give shout-outs to the things that have received much props from your homey this summer:

1. Cherikee Red Pop. The world's most racist soda! And yet, so very tasty... I was first introduced to Cherikee Red at Camp Hidden Hollow, where the Aurora High School Marching Band held its band camp. Cherikee Red was the only thing that made skit day bearable...

2. David Hasselhoff's "Jump In My Car" video (see below). Okay, at first I thought it was funny, but now I get it stuck in my head sometimes, like at work, which is really embarrassing. But Evil Ejector KITT is so hard to resist! I wonder how many other ladies he has seduced in this manner...

3. The return of Flavor of Love on VH1! This evening, at 10/9 Central. Watch it! Watch it or perish! Because no one watched it last time, and that left me with no one to discuss The Great Pumpkin Spitting Incident, or to quote Goldie-isms to. So please watch, so that we can have long, spirited discussions about it. Also, according to the promo I watched (multiple) times yesterday, someone is going to crap on Flav's floor during this episode. How can you resist?

4. Snap peas. They're delicious AND nutricious! Really, I like them. It's a whole new me!

So check these things out and indulge yourself for once! In the meantime, I'm going to be putting the finishing touches on my Tiny Toiletry collection (I acquired the Tiny Gel and Tiny Shave Cream I needed on Friday!), praying I can learn how to upload video content from the video camera my parents lent me (if ANYONE has any idea how I can upload from a PV-GS9, PLEASE let me know, as I am now desperate to memorialize every second of my two upcoming vacations, as well as several weddings and hilarious cuteness between the dog and cat), and doing many crunches and leg lifts in a feeble attempt to not look like I am wearing a fanny pack under my swimsuit. We're leaving Tuesday, so I may be going dark for the week, although I'm secretly hoping that the hotel has wireless access... because yes, I am depraved and sad like that.