Hey, um, never mind

We ended up walking away from the house-- I think it was when they threatened to just put it up for auction even though we had a contract signed that really did me in. All in all, this all went quite possibly as badly as it could possibly have gone, short of the ghoulish corpses of Indian burial ground zombies rising from the earth, coated in shit from the bad septic system, to ensnare us and drag us back into their hellish abode.

Anyway. I'll tell you more about it when my eyes aren't so puffy, or my contacts seared to my eyelids. In the meantime, if you know of any houses for sale in the area with no fucking septic system, please call me. We're interested.

An Elegy for Geauga Lake

I emerge from my pre-wedding blitzkrieg (twelve days and counting!) with sad news: though many of you probably never visited it, the hallowed theme park of my youth, Geauga Lake, announced late last week that it will be removing all but its water rides effective immediately, thus turning it into yet another water park.

I don't know about other areas of the nation, but northeast Ohio already seems pretty saturated with water parks-- Holiday Sands (although no one seems to remember Holiday Sands but me, so maybe I just made it up), Dover Park, Pioneer Waterland... This, sadly, only strengthens my belief that Geauga Lake, as a whole, will be dead within five years, making Aurora devoid of theme-related amusement, but leaving behind it one humongous parking lot.

Unlike many other people, I didn't bat an eye when Sea World left town-- I'm not a big fan of being splashed in the face by whales who are, quite obviously, swimming around in their own urine.

But Geauga Lake was a huge part of my life growing up-- I never worked there (though many of my friends and classmates did, throughout the years-- I prefered the quiet and air-conditioned-ness that my job as a local library bookshelver afforded me), but my dad, being a Geauga Lake FANATIC, took me there three times a week for ten summers: a total of over 400 times.

Did I get sick of Geauga Lake? Yes. There are only so many times you can ride the Big Dipper before you begin to realize that it's just not that much fun to have your soul rattled out of you on a mediocre wooden roller coaster.

But now that it's leaving, I can't help but feel a little maudlin. My dad and I spent many, many hours of our lives there together-- that space needle thing might not have been exciting, or even remotely fun, but it's always been a landmark in my map of the past.

So farewell, Geauga Lake: you will be missed. Except by my mom, who seems thrilled that she will finally be free of your chokehold on my dad.