Monday, October 23, 2006

Laost Cause

First off, let me just say that I left work early today, a victim of a mystery illness that has rendered me feeling cross-eyed and caused me to misjudge my distance from my surroundings, resulting in a full-on collision with the side of a cubicle and the unfortunate slamming of an entirely too-full cup of Diet Pepsi against the wall at Long John Silver's. Curiously, this does not seem to affect me when I drive, so apparently if I had been left to do my work in the car all day, everything probably would have been fine.

But anyway, none of this has anything to do with Laos.

What does have to do with Laos is the fact that I had a totally bizarre dream last night that these two Laotians were trying to kill me-- once with a syringe to the neck (full of something that, though burn-y, was apparently not lethal) and once by shoving me off a building. This entire thing is especially interesting in that I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever thought about Laos before in my life, and don't know any actual Laotians, and cannot fathom why they would be trying to kill me, in my dream life or otherwise. It is, by far, the most random topic for a dream that I have ever experienced-- and I once dreamed that I was part of an elite Kid Team sent back in time to stop the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. (LeVar Burton was our leader.)

When I told Ben about it, he was sure I must have been confused, and that it was Russians, not Laotians, that were attempting to kill me. But no, I assure you, it was Laotians*.

*Or, rather, dream Laotians, as I do not, in any way, want to insinuate that any real Laotians are trying to kill me, mainly because I don't want to get angry e-mails.

5 pipers piping:

ashley said...

I actually DO know some Laotians. I went to school with a family of them. They were all very nice. I'm sorry they're trying to kill you.

Anonymous said...

Why, I am OFFENDED. We Laotians do not wish to kill you, only put a stop to your crashing into my cube at work.

Frisby said...

I see that, back in the '80s, you were exposed to the government's top-secret recruitment drive for the Lincoln Assassination Opposition Squad (LAOS). They were known to broadcast this message, subliminally, during Reading Rainbow.

Naturally, the government continues to deny the existence of such a program, but more and more people like you are coming forward with recovered memories.

Don't let their psychic hitmen intimidate you! (I suppose I don't even need to remind you that A Nightmare on Elm Street was a propaganda film commissioned by the Reagan Administration to discredit anyone who survived such somnolent attacks.) The public needs to learn the truth!

Ed & Jeanne said...

What a Loassy dream

Ed & Jeanne said...

If I could spell...I meant Laossy...