Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Dear Nelly Furtado,

Do you remember when you used to be a hippie, and you had those annoying hippie songs, "I'm Like a Bird" and "Turn Out the Light"? And everyone was like, Ooh, Nelly Furtado, she's Portuguese and Canadian?


Well, I didn't like you then, and I certainly don't like you now that you have reinvented yourself as a shiny, stomach-baring floozy.


I am CCing VH1 on this message in the hopes that they will never play "Promiscuous" again, and perhaps burn whatever footage they may have of it, so that I will never have to watch it while getting ready in the morning (as I have taken to watching VH1 in the mornings before work to catch up on what the young people are listening to, even though MTV would be a better choice, but everyone on MTV is very angry all the time, and wearing threatening eye makeup). Also, please tell Timbaland that I don't understand why he is special, given that he is named after footwear.

Please note that your new, writhing nudie image will not work, as it did not work for Jewel, and soon "Promiscuous" will be featured in commercials for crappy razors-with-the-lather-built-in.

Also, those pants make your butt look big.

Love,
Kim

7 pipers piping:

Anonymous said...

I love those razors

penelope said...

I'm still angry at Jewel.

Karima said...

Nelly - but the money you make from the razor ads will allow you to afford pants that fit.

Anonymous said...

Whoa. Nelly.

couldn't resist :}

Anonymous said...

Also, remember how she used to, I don't know, actually SING on her tracks? I heard somebody on the radio talking about how she worked with Timbaland (right, because it's TimBA and not TimbER?) for her COMEBACK. Isn't she 25 or something? Did she need a "comeback" for her second album? If you're Cher, you're a comeback. If you're Nelly Furtado, you're just back. With little in the middle but you got much back. Ha.

Alan said...

actually this is her 4th album. The second and third were like her first and did not do very well at all.

She wanted to change her image and I think she did a good job. While I never listed to her "hippie" music before, i now enjoy catching her video on tv cause she got HOT!!! A little booty is not bad as eveident in the very hot picture you put up of her.

Anonymous said...

not only was she a hippie, though, she was also a lesbian. where did the lesbianism go?!