I don't have the hate mail I received from Mark Harmon. For those of you who don't know the lore behind this, let me retell it quickly: when the package came, I threw away the letter, saved the photocopied note that said "I don't care if she gets an autograph or not-- Rude is rude, and I don't reward it" (but then lost it while I was in grad school, although I can't imagine it's gone forever), ripped up the photograph and ate the signature.
However, my dad assures me that, though the letter was technically thrown away, he rescued it from my garbage can on trash day, saving it for future humiliation. My parents just moved, but after they're settled in, I might begin hounding him for the letter again, so that I can share its evils with you.
3 pipers piping:
Please post your address so that I might send further correspondence regarding your manners and the use of Mr. Harmon's likeness. Is that any way to treat a man who isn't president but played him in a movie starring Mandy Moore?
Let's face it, with the exception of "Mr. Schupe", Mark Harmon has made a serviceable career out of being the guy that nobody would mistake as being any fun whatsoever.
Hollywood director: "Let's see here...I've got this role where the leading man is kind of an unrepentant bastard with very few redeeming qualities. (to secretary) I need somebody completely wooden--I'm talking shoe tree,here.
Secretary: Umm...Marc Harmon?
Hollywood Director: "God, I love you. Get his agent on the phone. And hand me my pants."
To The Unwilling Adult:
I am an attorney representing Mr. Mark Harmon. I am issuing an order for you to cease and desist in your derogatory commentary of Mr. Harmon's likeness, personality traits, name, birthdate, and secretary. And he's wooden like a coatrack, not shoe tree. Shoe trees are so passe.
Mr. Harmon demands the immediate return of his autograph and especially the signature, so pony up, girly.
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