Hey, um, never mind

We ended up walking away from the house-- I think it was when they threatened to just put it up for auction even though we had a contract signed that really did me in. All in all, this all went quite possibly as badly as it could possibly have gone, short of the ghoulish corpses of Indian burial ground zombies rising from the earth, coated in shit from the bad septic system, to ensnare us and drag us back into their hellish abode.

Anyway. I'll tell you more about it when my eyes aren't so puffy, or my contacts seared to my eyelids. In the meantime, if you know of any houses for sale in the area with no fucking septic system, please call me. We're interested.

Indeed: Movin' on up!

We got the house! Pending inspections, mortgage applications, etc., that mo-fo is OURS. I'm still trying not get too excited, in case things still fall through, but secretly I'm redecorating the whole place in bold blues and greens in my head.

And also? Ben's going to be out of town when the house goes into escrow, so I might get to have power of attorney. Which means I'll have a superpower of sorts. Rad.

Movin' On Up?

Ben and I just put in a bid on a house in Chesterland this morning-- I don't want to say too much, because I don't want to jinx it, and also talking about it makes me want to throw up. But wish us luck!

Much Ado About Matts

While I am out gadding about in a world of non-creative endeavors (although I DID just beat Slash on Hard at Guitar Hero last night-- on the first try!), please take a moment to honor two of my friends and fellow bloggers, who have made great strides in balancing out my current lameness in the cosmic scheme of things:

Matt Tullis, a fellow MFA from the Wilmington brood, has been appointed to a full-time position teaching journalism and overseeing the Collegian at our alma mater, Ashland University. In his new role, he will get to spend a great deal of time hanging out with our shared mentor and totally all-around awesome guy, Joe Mackall, which makes me supremely jealous. However, since Matt was the one who first gave me a chance to strut my stuff on the comedy column state when he gave me my first column in the Collegian back in 1998, I think I can let the jealousy slide, because I know what a kick-ass job he will do, and what kind of life he can bring back to the campus paper. (And if the Collegian ever needs a guest columnist, you know where to find me. Ahem.)

Matt Rowe, meanwhile, has continued to bring it hardcore to Swing State, and has exciting news for all y'all-- he will be on the ballot at the Virginia 1st District convention to be a national convention alternate. The election is May 17, so keep an eye on Swing State to follow him through the process and see if someone we know will actually be on the floor at the DNC. Also, if you're attending this convention, vote for Matt. Or suffer the consequences. (Note: there are no actual consequences. But I will be really, really mad at you.)

You must know...

That I am about to crap my pants over this:


It comes out June 3. Don't bother calling my house for a few days.