I must admit, this whole wedding planning thing isn't exactly shaping up to be the non-stop funnapalooza I had anticipated.
Now don't get me wrong-- I definitely still want to get married. That isn't the issue. The issue is, I want someone to plan the entire thing for me, and have everyone magically show up, and all I have to do is look sassy in my dress and dance with my sexy, sexy fiance.
But right now, we are drowning in tiny details. Like the favors. A quick poll: do you care what the favors are? I am very favor-oriented, and have hoarded every wedding favor I have ever been given. So that might explain why I am so fixated on having The Perfect Favor. But it turns out that such a thing does not exist, and many of the favors out there are unbearable, such as the leaf-shaped "Fall In Love" soap petals that Ashley so abhors.
Yes. My wedding is in the fall. I understand your delightful play on words. So let's not print it on all semi-decent favors, thus ruining them irreparably.
And the guest list, which, at times, ranges anywhere from seven thousand people to me, Ben, the dog, a justice of the peace, and a random homeless witness. Do not even talk to me about the guest list, or I will burst into tears.
I know-- I know-- that our wedding is going to be super awesome, and will likely be talked about for generations to come, especially when I bust out my killer dance moves, which I imagine will be eighty times more entertaining when I'm wearing a 40 pound dress. But these little details are killing us.
So those of you who have been married, please tell me-- does everyone reach a point like this? Or am I some sort of horrible anti-bride, doomed to wander the earth in my tattered dress like Miss Havesham?
PS: Is my head really that big in comparison to my shoulders? Yikes.
Now don't get me wrong-- I definitely still want to get married. That isn't the issue. The issue is, I want someone to plan the entire thing for me, and have everyone magically show up, and all I have to do is look sassy in my dress and dance with my sexy, sexy fiance.
But right now, we are drowning in tiny details. Like the favors. A quick poll: do you care what the favors are? I am very favor-oriented, and have hoarded every wedding favor I have ever been given. So that might explain why I am so fixated on having The Perfect Favor. But it turns out that such a thing does not exist, and many of the favors out there are unbearable, such as the leaf-shaped "Fall In Love" soap petals that Ashley so abhors.
Yes. My wedding is in the fall. I understand your delightful play on words. So let's not print it on all semi-decent favors, thus ruining them irreparably.
And the guest list, which, at times, ranges anywhere from seven thousand people to me, Ben, the dog, a justice of the peace, and a random homeless witness. Do not even talk to me about the guest list, or I will burst into tears.
I know-- I know-- that our wedding is going to be super awesome, and will likely be talked about for generations to come, especially when I bust out my killer dance moves, which I imagine will be eighty times more entertaining when I'm wearing a 40 pound dress. But these little details are killing us.
So those of you who have been married, please tell me-- does everyone reach a point like this? Or am I some sort of horrible anti-bride, doomed to wander the earth in my tattered dress like Miss Havesham?
PS: Is my head really that big in comparison to my shoulders? Yikes.
8 pipers piping:
I'm falling in love with the rose petals already... hehe.
Kim, I've done this twice, and I can unequivocally say, yes, everyone goes through this. It will get better.
You have to prioritize your stress. Like, for instance, stress over the (whispers) guest list (/unwhispers) is more important than stress over favors, because if their are no guests, who need favors?
PS, good favors are hard to find. Can I tell you what mine were?
Wedding 1: personalized fortune cookies. We had them print lines from Twin Peaks in there, because we were going to Twin Peaks for our honeymoon.
Wedding 2: fake mustaches. This was so fun, I thought I'd die, but 90% of my wedding pictures include someone in a fake mustache, and we pulled them off every available surface for days.
You will have fun, it will be beautiful and you'll be stressed, but in the end, it will be good stress.
I understand that feeling...the tiny little details. Let me emphasize this: Guest list and then SEATING ARRANGEMENTS are going to be the toughest things to sweat. Add an inlaw who has her own ideas of who should be sitting with who and you've got yourself a meltdown.
Now, as for favors. Since I was marrying into a Dutch family, we thought a nice favor would be delicious dutch candies/chocolates. Candy is always a good favor, and if you know that you will have diabetic or other diet restricted folks you could also have sugar free favors. My best friend got married in San Fransisco, so of course the chocolates were Giradelli. She also had specialty tea bags in little custom tins. Both were favorites at the wedding.
Overall, it really comes down to how you want to express your endless joy that you are starting this new life with Ben....and we all get to witness it. I assure you no one will sit there and be like "ohmygawd did you see her FAVORS?"
But damn, fake mustaches are pretty cool.
Dear Kim,
Contrary to what I may have said on the phone, I will still love you if your favors say something about falling in love. Do not stress.
Love (see? I fell into it),
Ashley
it does get better, i promise. for me, the guest list and the seating were the big crying festivals. i was not so favor-oriented, i was most about the food, the music, and a damn signature drink. you don't know how, but it all does fall into place and work itself out. i won't lie, about a month before to the two weeks before, i thought i would combust from all of the tying up of loose ends. but it was wonderful and perfect and i wish i could do it again so that i could eat and drink a lot more this time around at the ceremony. the most important thing, as everyone says, is that you guys love each other and this is a celebration of that -- an you wouldn't want love to be perfect, because it wouldn't necessarily be real, it has bumps and turns and tears, so, i think it is a good thing that your planning at times is hard.
or, that is what i told myself! and it was wonderful, as i said. good luck!! you can do it!!!
Do yourself a favor (get it? get it?) and don't stress about favors... I can't remember what the favors were at most of the weddings I've attended and I actually sort of think going favor-less makes more sense. Of course, I'm not engaged or married, so I am aware that I may just not get it. (I do vote for edible or usable though; I'm anti things that create clutter.) No matter what, it's going to be the BEST DAY EVER. xo.
Kim, Having recently thrown a wedding (and a pretty fun one, I think), I have one piece of advice for you – do not worry about these things. In the end, they don’t matter, and are not worth the stress. I didn’t have favors, which was just a personal choice, but I’m pretty sure no one left the wedding being like, “those a-holes didn’t give favors??! What the hell!?” If you want them, then get whatever you like, and don’t give a second thought to it. All that matters is that everyone you love and care about is there, and that you are having a great time. Everything else will fall into place. I guarantee you. If Aunt Ethel has to sit next to Aunt Mimi, even though they secretly hate one another, do not fret. They’ll get over it. Who knows, maybe they’ll even come out of it best friends.
Yeah, everyone goes through this, absolutely. And no, it's not worth it. The MOST important part is that you remember to enjoy the day. It WILL NOT be perfect, and you should not try to make it so. Just enjoy the moments for what they are. Remember to breathe.
I was also going to say that original, quirky favors are next to impossible to come up with, but then I read the part about the fake mustaches. Props, megs! That is just fantastic.
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