The following activities were performed in my car between the hours of 5:05 pm and 8:15 pm yesterday, when I was caught in a really bad traffic jam on my way home from work.
1. Called Ben to find out the situation: overturned cement truck at E. 140th. Minor annoyance.
2. Called Megan to find out when I will be going to visit her and her husband and their new baby! Fun times! Too bad I'm not moving at all. Urge to pee rising.
3. Called Kelly to discuss the newest BNL release, which I had planned on buying when I got home. Not only was it beginning to look like I wasn't going to get home in time, but Kelly infomed me it's not even that great, anyway. Then, phone begins to die. Must hang up with Kelly. Distance traveled: 1.3 miles in 30 minutes. Urge to pee rising.
4. Called Ben despite dying battery. Began to cry. Not good. Cut off old woman to get in far right lane, which I have learned from the radio is the only place to be to pass the overturned truck. Looked forward to seeing truck in flames, with cement volcanoing out from every direction.
5. Listened to Blue Collar Comedy on Sirius. Blue Collar Comedy is not really that funny, so I listened to a CD I made to take to Wilmington. Upon three consecutive listens, decided that I really don't like the song "You Can Call Me Al." Who knew?
6. Sobbed uncontrollably for about 15 minutes for no reason. Urge to pee reaching deathcon-4.
7. Popped massive zit on cheek, only to discover too late that it was one of those zits that is filled with blood, which made me look like a crime victim and thoroughly freaked out the people in the lane next to me.
8. Did more crying. Wondered if a pack of travel tissues would absorb at least a little pee if needed.
9. Finally approached the location of the so-called overturned cement truck, only to learn that it had been removed several hours before, and that absolutely nothing remained to impede the flow of traffic. Immediately began going 60 miles an hour again. Cried over lack of flaming truck. Cried bitter, bitter tears.
6 pipers piping:
That sucks. I took Chester road to cedar then hopped onto 271. I was home at 440! 2 lessons to be learned... always always always pee before you leave ( i too learned the hard way).. and always check traffic before getting in your car.
On that note.. be glad you didn't have to poop...
Wow! Downtown Euclid looks pretty awesome at night.
"Wondered if a pack of travel tissues would absorb at least a little pee if needed."
Don't break the seal!
whoknew places other than LA had bad traffic... hmmm. thus spreads the jungle.
I had to slam on my brakes on the parkway today for three firetrucks and two police cars that had the right lane closed for...nothing, it seemed. No overturned cars. No stranded motorist. Like they just thought it'd be fun.
Glad you didn't pee on yourself!
Are you crying because you miss Moonpie?
you certainly have some exciting adventures on the way home from work. having to pee while driving is the worst, though, because you can't even properly do the pee-pee dance.
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