Fergie's Insecurities, brought to life

So I borrowed Fergie's CD from the library, because not unlike the rest of the nation, I apparently find her "tastey". And I have to say, there are some pretty interesting songs on there-- I hope this does not diminish whatever little amount of music cred I have garnered by being an Elvis Costello or Cake fan for all these years. But there is one song in particular that irks the shit out of me, which contains the following lyrics:

Would you love me if I didn't work out/

or I didn't change my natural hair/

And I could be the/

One you want to grow older with baby/

I'll give you all that I got-t-t-t

There are several issues with this:

1. Fergie, if your boyfriend doesn't love you because you don't work out, then boyfriends across America must be living shams of lives.

2. What do you mean by your "natural hair"? Are you refering to the color? Or is your natural hair actually a matrix of snakes, a la Medusa? In that case, I, too, would be apt to leave you if you did not change it.

And, most importantly,

3. THAT LAST LINE DOESN'T FUCKING RHYME WITH ANYTHING! This isn't free verse! It's GOOD for things to rhyme in POP SONGS! It is ENCOURAGED! And for no apparent reason, that bothers me above all else.

Anyway, I thought I should make this lyrical gem available to everyone else, so we could discuss its badness. Meanwhile, I am off to go listen to Warren Zevon's greatest hits, so as to counteract whatever Pop Music Haters I may be attracting here.

(By the way, pop music RULES! There. I said it. Just not this song.)