So I can't stop thinking about why my blog got so many hits last Sunday-- has Mark Harmon turned his League of Evil on me? Are other Witnesses looking to cover every angle of the LeBron dynasty (wait until next year, Pistons, you crap-ass thugs) (although Rip Hamilton looks like a pretty nice guy, actually, when he takes off that freaky face mask)? After going back and checking the referrers to my site, I have come up with a shocking conclusion.
Aside from the usual links from The Verse: Making the Ivy and Oopsie Daisy, among others, there were also a large number of Google searches for one Tiffany Vandemark, a name I had totally forgotten until I searched it myself, only to realize that she is Ric Flair's fiancee, and I wrote about her once in an old post about the Nature Boy.
Slowly, it dawned on me: adult plus Tiffany Vandemark. People are looking for porny pictures of Tiffany Vandemark! On my blog!
Which then took me down the even more disturbing road: The Unwilling Adult, when taken the wrong way, sounds like a totally nasty porny scary pornucopia! Of nastiness! Why did no one ever point this out to me? I might as well have called my blog "Hot Bitches Tied Up Against Their Will"!
Unfortunately, unless I relocate my blog altogether, I can't really change its name. And besides, I am an unwilling adult-- I spent the last evening of Ben being out of town alternately vacuuming (to give the false impression that I had lived in immaculate splendor during his absence, rather than huddled on the floor eating hot dogs) and watching old episodes of Spongebob Squarepants.
So we'll see if my excessive mention of Tiffany Vandemark creates another spike in readership. If that's not it, then I really can't rule out the evil machinations of the Mark Harmon Fan Club.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 pipers piping:
I once mentioned Shizuka Arakawa and, in a different post, used the word "boob." I got hundreds of hits, and still get hits to this day, from people searching for "Shizuka Arakawa boob."
When you mentioned the spike, I checked your referrers and saw the Tiffany Vandermark searching. This, of course, was days later, but I think you have likely found the cause.
My blog comes up on google searches for "that wart remover commercial" and, I'm not kidding, "When Hummingbirds attack."
Spike in traffic from people Googling "Hot Bitches Tied Up Against Their Will" in 5... 4... 3...
You realized now that you will be a search result from Googling "adult" and "porn." And "pornucopia" which is a word that, frankly, gets Googled more than one would expect.
You're on the cusp of hosting a washing machine fetish site.
Perhaps you should pair up with Dateline and stage a sting operation to bust all those with unwilling adult, washing machine, and Mark Harmon fetishes. I'm scared for future traffic into your blog.
P.S. Did you make up "pornucopia?" Because it's a fantastic word, despite all connotations.
also let's not forget that people go to blogs via searches in order to hide why they're really going to the blog. like, okay, let's say i, franco, am in love with a fictional person named boris. and boris has a blog.
but i don't want boris to think i'm 'direct-hitting' his blog. so i take some key words from his blog posts and google search on them, so when he checks his referrer log, he's like, oh, that wasn't franco, that was just some person searching for "corn dogs."
or "porn dogs" in this case.
hmmm. who knew people went to such great lengths to visit a blog?
I just had someone locate my blog by googling "saddle up with jesus t-shirt." Which is my favorite t-shirt of all time, and I have featured it, and my love for it, in my blog before. But seriously -- what the F are the odds of that?
I also love the title of your blog, and I don't think it's pervy. So there's my two cents.
Post a Comment