I'm big in Portugal

Turns out I'm way funnier if read in translation. Here, for example, is an excerpt from an e-mail I wrote to Ben earlier today:

Anything new and interesting at the Coatings? Anything catch fire, or explode?

If so, things are a million times more exciting there than they are at Amtrust, where the following things have happened:

1. I completed, separated into categories and color-coded my giant database.
2. I realized that my shirt was cut in such a way that anyone taller than me could stare directly down into my bra, and then spent most of the day holding my hand over my chest, so now it looks like I'm really patriotic.
3. My computer doesn't understand Daylight Savings Time, so I had to devote 15 minutes to convincing it that it really was an hour later than normal.

But I just remembered that I have some candy here, so that should help speed things up.

Pretty good, right? Not bad for a work e-mail? Now, check out the same thing translated from English to Portuguese and then back into English (thanks to Babelfish:

Any new thing and that it interests in coverings? Any thing stops the fire, or blows up?

If thus, the things are million there more emotive times of that they are in Amtrust, where the following things had happened:

1. I finished, in categories and color-coded separate my giant database.
2. I carried through that my shirt estêve cut in such way that any higher one the one that me could look at fixed directly to swallow in mine bra, and spent then the majority of the day that arrests my hand on my box, thus now looks at as I am really patriotic.
3. My computer does not understand the time of the economies of the light of the day, thus that I had that to devote 15 minutes to convince it that were really one delayed hour more of the one than the normal one.

But I only remembered that I have some candy here, in way that had to help the things of the speed above.

My favorite part is that any higher one that me could look at fixed directly to swallow in mine bra. It just so much more poetic in translation.