Pepzilla

In an effort to prepare for our overnight journey to Charlotte this evening, I have already drunk one 24 ounce Diet Pepsi (left), and have moved on to a comically oversized 1 liter Diet Pepsi (right).

My entire upper lip fits in the mouth of the bottle. It is madness!

Death to Scum

I highly recommend that you all go out and buy this Scumbuster RIGHT NOW. If, for example, you have a scummy bathroom, like I do, it will allow you to destroy scum in a most satisfactory manner, as well as unidentified blue-black smudges of what can only be Super Scum, various types of mildew, and other nastiness.

You can also use Scumbuster to clean:

*sinks
*toilets
*the lid to your perpetually scum-covered metal garbage can
*windowsills (which get very, very dirty, in case you haven't noticed)
*carpet (or so the packaging says, although I can proudly say that at least my carpet is free from scum)
*the other heads of the Scumbuster

and so on.

All I know is, my bathroom is a million times cleaner than your bathroom. At least a million. Which is why it pains me so that, immediately upon completion of Operation Scumbust, Ben suggested that tomorrow, we wash the dog in the bathtub.

Was Blind, But Now I See

I feel it my civic duty to inform you all about 39 Dollar Glasses, an insanely awesome website that, as indicated by it's catchy name, provides glasses-- frames and lenses-- for $39. For real.

My friend Denise's husband turned me onto it about a year ago, but for some reason I put off actually using it-- possibly because the idea of $39 dollar glasses is so mindblowingly savage that to even contemplate it for longer than 30 seconds is to risk madness-- until last week, when I realized, after a year or so of wondering, that my evening headaches are actually caused by my super weak glasses. So, I went to the site, ordered the glasses using my prescription card, and now I have totally awesome new glasses, and they only cost me thirty-nine dollars.

(That, by the way, is not a picture of me wearing the new glasses, but rather of me holding up a cutout of what the new glasses would look like, as you can actually print life-sized pictures of the glasses to see what they look like on your face, which I did a few weeks ago before taking the plunge, hence the long hair. I suppose I could have taken a picture of myself actually wearing the real glasses, as I am doing so right this very second, but I am feeling lazy, and my teeth hurt, and I'm wearing a bandana-- all of which are colluding against me showing you the real deal. But seriously, check out the cut-out job Marita did on those babies. She's like a scissors machine!)

Anyway, despite the fact that I am acting like a paid endorser of 39 Dollar Glasses, I am totally not. I'm more just a person who enjoys sticking it to those bastards at Lens Crafters, who tricked us all into thinking that glasses, for some reason, need to cost $300.

However, if 39 Dollar Glasses were to happen onto this site, and see my glowing endorsement, and agree to give me free glasses for life, that would be totally acceptable. I don't say no to eyewear.