Wednesday, March 12, 2008

To write or not to write?

I went out with my friend Denise tonight, which is fantastic, because Denise is one of the few people with whom I can have truly melodramatic conversations without later feeling like a retard. The conversation in question: is it time for me to give up writing?

The reason I asked is this: I spend a lot of time at work looking around and thinking-- this was not supposed to happen. Don't get me wrong, I do actually love my job-- as much as one can love auditing, not an inherently lovable profession-- but it's not exactly what I spent $13,000 (and my parents spent significantly more) for me to study. There is at least one moment a day in which I think-- I should be writing. And I'm not. Ergo, I am a failure.

So back to the original question: should I give up writing, even the possibility of writing, so that I can stop beating myself up about not doing it?

Denise, thankfully, thinks not. And I put a large stock in what Denise thinks, so I'm hoping to give it another try, even though
  • I have no good ideas
  • The good ideas I do have revolve around people I know, and they're not exactly flattering ideas that they might want shared with the general public
  • I am very, very tired of staring at a computer after a long day of auditing
  • Writing would take away from valuable time that could be spent playing Guitar Hero, which I am also very good at
But I think I need a jump start. Denise had a really good idea: write a sizable check to an organization that I don't want to receive my money-- say, the Church of Scientology-- and give it to a friend. If I don't produce some writing by a predetermined deadline, said friend puts the check in the mail.

That might be a bit extreme, especially since I don't want Tom Cruise dancing on any couches with my money, considering he still owes me for Vanilla Sky. But something along those lines. Anyone have any suggestions?

6 pipers piping:

Frisby said...

Wow! Now that's extreme. Maybe I should consider putting a chunk of cash on the line like that for a truly ignoble cause (I'm referring to the Scientology, not your writing).

I like Denise's idea, with this caveat: If you find that things aren't going well, how likely are you to resent your check-holding friend? Will you try and talk him/her into returning it?

With money on the line, you also risk becoming a victim of Frisby's Law of Inevitable Tedium (which I totally just made up): "There is no activity so enjoyable that it cannot be turned into a chore." The world's oldest profession is proof enough of that.

All that said, I side with Denizzle in that I don't think giving up on the dream is appropriate. Maybe it would help to start deliberately slow. Say, only one night a week to do any amount of writing. You don't even have to make it the whole evening; just an hour to prove to yourself that you've still got the chops. One guitarless hour per week isn't too much to ask, is it?

I think, as you get into a groove, you'll find yourself ignoring the one hour time limit, "just to get to a convenient stopping point." If your "writing muscle" has atrophied, then it makes sense to put it to work, slowly at first, and building to awesomeness.

mendacious said...

though apparently you don't listen to anything we in blog land say- i can only speak for my own new writing start and i think it's because you've gotten bad at LYING. just lie. it takes a woman, holding an umbrella and a monkey at her feet. just that. nothing more high-falutin and thematic. then the monkey stole her keys. what happens next...

Anonymous said...

Everywhere I go, I'm asked if I think the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.--Flannery O'Connor

I'm beginning to think I'm one of those writers who should have been stifled. I feel your pain. --dd

Anonymous said...

My editors think I'm one of those writers. I still don't.

Keep writing, or I will lose out on the chance to claim that I discovered Kim Oja.

--Matt

Frisby said...

Matt's right. I want you to write for wholly selfish reasons.

"I was reading Kim Oja before it was cool."

Of course, I'll eventually have to denounce you as a sellout to maintain my street cred, but don't you believe a word of it! We can be secret friends.

Kim said...

Wow, thanks, guys! I feel totally loved! And as a first step, I'm going to Walgreen's tonight to buy my official Rebooting My Writing Career Notebook (which will likely be an orange Mead 5-Star, my creative notebook of choice). I didn't come this far to be remembered for my awesome auditing skills.

Thanks for all your kind comments, they really mean the world to me.

Okay, end mushy comment portion.