I think my hair is turning straight.
This, I believe, is totally unfair, as it took me until the age of 21 to even embrace the fact that I had curly hair; until this point, I wore my hair in a puffy haystack configuration, seen below:
(I got the idea for the parted bangs from Madonna's Immaculate Collection liner art, and stuck with it for far too long.)
Upon finally understanding that, like being left-handed or severely awesome, both of which I am, curly hair can be a major attribute in life, particularly in Attaining a Dude, I began to wear it that way all the time, thus ushering in a seven-year golden age the likes of which few hair-wearers have ever had the chance to experience.
But lately-- specifically since one week after my wedding, when I got my hair cut short again-- I have noticed a terrifying de-curled trend in my hair. Witness the artfully-crafted before and after shot below:
The photo on the left, taken at my cousin Jennifer's wedding in 2006, shows a shiny, sassy head full of super springy curls. The photo on the right, taken just a few weeks ago on my trip to Richmond with Megan and Matt, tells a much bleaker, limper tale.
So what has caused this grim transformation? A few theories:
1. After wearing my hair long for so long, it was not prepared to shrink back up into curls upon this, my most dramatic cut in a few years. However, I have had this cut since October now, and it is clearly Still Horrible.
2. My hair is turning gray at an alarming rate, and gray hair has a different texture than straight hair. Unacceptable.
3. Now that I have a super-sexy husband, my hair has given up the fight needed for Dude Attaining, and is taking a much-needed break.
4. The price of gas has uncurled it.
I could go on and on. But now is not a time for words, it is a time for action. And for spending lots of money I don't have on expensive conditioners and gels that I found on the Internet (they should be here next Wednesday!). In the meantime, I ask that you keep my curls in your thoughts, that they may recover from this malaise and return to their peppy selves, before they give up the fight completely, and I end up looking like Julie Andrews in Victor/Victoria.
Thank you, and God bless.
6 pipers piping:
You do realize, however, that many people would kill for the so-called limp style on the left? It's like, diffused and all styled looking. I say, go with it. It's hot.
About the gray hair -- I sympathize. They ruin ANY kind of hair style. They scream: Natural disaster unfurling at this very moment. Good luck, my friend.
Hey, what a coincidence: I'm also left-handed and severely awesome!
I'm sorry to hear about your hair. I remember what it was like to have hair. I seem to recall it fondly.
I often wonder what happened to my dude attaining hair? Where have the years gone.
I often wonder what has happened to my hair. Where has my hair gone?
-- Matt
does this mean you're not going to blog anymore? it's like scared... straight = not blogging right now.
it's sorta freaking me out.
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