Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The girls in my neighborhood are unacceptable.

Why, for instance, do the girls in my neighborhood travel in packs down the sidewalk in the dead of winter, talking so loudly that I can hear their entire conversation from a block away? Because you know what? I am not even slightly interested in what happened to Lakeisha in Mr. Palmer's third period today. But I know what happened. And it wasn't even interesting. Why talk so loudly about such boring things, Lakeisha? Perhaps, just perhaps, this is why Mr. Palmer has not taken a liking to you.

Also, why do I develop a paranoid fear of having to talk to these girls, to the point where I will yank my dog at a breakneck pace down an icy sidewalk for a whole block just to avoid having to interact with them? I don't have this problem with the boys in my neighborhood. Of course, the boys in my neighborhood, in general, are not interested in talking to a weirdly-dressed woman with a big, crazed dog.

(As a side note, I always feel poorly dressed when I'm walking the dog, mainly because of every episode of What Not to Wear, where Stacey and Clinton made it REAL OBVIOUS that they feel that you should still wear heels and an expensive scarf and a tightly tailored black blazer while walking the dog, even in the dead of winter.)

But I will totally go out of my way to avoid talking to the girls. One, because they talk too loudly, and I'm afraid if I'm right up next to them they might actually burst my eardrum. But two, because they scare the crap out of me.

I don't know if this is a leftover from middle school, where interactions with big groups of girls usually ended in tears, or what.

Point is, they are unacceptable. Or I'm unacceptable. Or something. I don't really know what the point is. I just got back from walking the dog, and ran into these girls, and now I'm in here, blogging. Quietly. Mr. Palmer would be proud.

4 pipers piping:

hat said...

I, too! Especially when they're grouped together drinking coffee like they mean business.

penelope said...

Yes, big groups of girls are so intimidating with their laser eyes and silent judginess. They still terrify me as well.

But you know, those What Not to Wear people increasingly bug me. Besides that their outfit choices are completely expensive and impractical, Stacey's been sporting that skunk streak in her hair, and how are we to believe she's truly an expert in fashion.

Anonymous said...

I think nearly every interaction with groups of boys or girls in middle school resulting in tears or shame. So I avoid everyone! It totally works.

I dunno, some of the people that get "help" on What Not To Wear really need it, sometimes. The ones that are most interesting for me to watch are the ones where the person wears drastically innappropriate streetwalker-wear to PTA meetings. And they get sOOOOO offended when Stacy offers sometime tasteful! Like "Why you tryin to cover up this delicious booty of mine! DAAAAAMMMN. Why you always gotta be like that?!"

steph said...

you know, i teach those kids now and they are just so insecure and like big toddlers -- even though they are our size, they are like babies. my kids are loud and can be obnoxious, but really, they just want adults to see past that and accept them. they are scared of us! which is really weird to think, because until i taught middle school i was cared of them, too, but i bet if you smile at them and say hi, they will love you and your dog very much. :) and they don't care about what stacey from what not to wear has to say!