Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Rabid!


Rabies has been popping up far too often for my taste lately. First, in the season premiere of my (sadly cut short by the writers' strike) all-time favorite show, The Office, in which Michael staged a fun run to raise rabies awareness; then in Rant, Chuck Palahniuk's newest book, in which the main character starts a rabies epidemic. But most disturbingly in a show that our TiVo thought we would enjoy, "The Girl Who Survived Rabies," the title of which is pretty much self-explanatory.

My previous encounters with rabies were pretty much limited to Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God, in which the main character is forced to kill her beloved Tea Cake (who is a human, and not a lap dog, despite the connotations of his name) when he is infected with the disease. Rabies is something that happens to characters in 20th Century Literature Class novels, not to me!

But now, surrounded by this glut of rabies mania, I am forced to assume my fallback position, which is, if everyone is talking about it, then I probably have it. Which is why, at two o'clock today when I cut my finger on the bathroom paper towel dispenser, a danger sign flashed: RABIES!

I am completely and totally aware that paper towel dispensers are not alive, and thus incapable of carrying the rabies virus. But at that moment, I fully expected to begin foaming at the mouth and develop an irrational fear of water, and figured by the end of the night, Ben would have dispatched me neatly with a shotgun.

What is the lesson in this? Has my rabies awareness been raised too much? Should I stop trusting TiVo? Am I, maybe, a bit too paranoid? Are the terror segments on local news channels meant for me?

I don't know. But all this talk of tea cakes is making me hungry.

6 pipers piping:

Megs said...

I am laughing hysterically.

Though, I, too, am afraid of rabies.

j. shelton said...

(i know megs----^)

and this is some of the most entertaining writing i've read in a while.

oh, i have a BA in English and a Masters in Liberal studies.

i work at a paint store.

i don't get That Either.

Anonymous said...

Kim! I have a friend who used to be on "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman." She played Ingrid from Sweden, and was eventually forced off the show because THE STAR (who you may be surprised to know is not at all a nice person) was insanely jealous of her.

Do you know how they killed off her character? Rabies. This is how they simulated the disease: toothpaste for foaming at the mouth. And they took away the part of her costume she always hated most -- the bra with the built in fake boobs.

penelope said...

This post is proof that you totally need to blog more. Love it.

hat said...

Kim Shable Oja, where are you?? In the land of the incommunicato?

hat said...

Wait, how did you cut your finger on the bathroom paper towel dispenser?