Fergie is 1/2 Mexican, 1/2 Native American. Because there is no way that I was the only person who wanted to know that.
Also, is it just me, or is she going to look just like Kirstie Alley in about ten years?
Friday, September 29, 2006
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4 pipers piping:
I don't really like Fergie. I don't like that weird, pseudo-rapping thing that she does. I don't like her pseudo-ghetto inflection. I don't like her fashion sense. And now I am never going to look at her again without imagining her in a Jenny Craig commercial.
Allow me to clarify by stating that I, too, don't like Fergie. It's more like I'm interested in Fergie, from an antropological standpoint. For instance, how did someone who was once on Kids Incorporated get to a point where she is performing fellatio on a British guard through his pants? And why does she continue to wear that eyebrow ring, when it is SO 1999?
See? I wish I weren't interested, but I so can't help it.
I can't look at a picture of Fergie without recalling that mortifying peed-her-pants-just-before-going-onstage incident. Whether it was true or not, the unfortunate photography that came out of it has been seared into my mind forever. Thanks for that, Vh1, thanks a whole lot.
Perhaps a cross between Kirstie Alley, Sophia Loren, and Miss Piggy. Should we give Jenny Craig a call and get her booked early?
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