Monday, May 08, 2006

You buy now!


Must be quick, as am on lunch break and desperately need to e-mail back tens of thousands of people (my apologies if you are one of them!), but I absolutely had to inform you SMUCKER'S UNCRUSTABLES ARE THE GREATEST FREAKING FOOD ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET. They look gross, but DO NOT BE FOOLED! They are so tasty that you imagine this is the treat you would get if you asked God Himself to make you a sandwich.

Perhaps I am being a bit hyperbolic. But I really don't think so. Because the only bad thing about the Uncrustable is that it is very, very small. And since today was my first time trying them, I only brought one, in case it turned out to be disgusting and vile. And now I am fiending for another one right now, even though that would be Too Much Sandwich.

I swear, there's a layer of peanut butter around a layer of jelly around a layer of crack.

7 pipers piping:

Anonymous said...

The most bizarre thing about Smucker's Uncrustables is that Smucker's tried to patent them.

Let me repeat that: They tried to patent a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Matt said...

Smuckers actually tried to patent the idea of having peanutbutter on both pieces of bread, therefore making a barrier to keep the jelly from penetrating the bread and thereby making it a soggy mess, something I wish my Mom would have thought of when I was in elementary school.

Alan said...

I've had the Uncrustables before...however I am more or less a peanut butter snob and will not eat anything but Jif. Therefore I do not concur with your assessment of how great these are. I've had the grape flavor...perhaps if I would have had the strawberry as you pictured above I would sing a different tune.

mendacious said...

hmm. i'm usually a skippy fan but the idea is noteworthy- i just question what sort of chemical equation is holding the entire sandwich up... you know like twinkies and nuclear fall out- i'm sure it's not the same but i wonder how durable they are.

Anonymous said...

Alan, just a tip. Never, ever let someone convince you to get "Simply" Jiff, the Jiff version with less sugar. Because I can tell you from experience that it is a wholly unsatisfying peanut butter product. I used to be a dedicated Peter Pan fan until they refused to tell my sister-in-law if it contained any wheat products, which she is allergic to. Shame on you, Peter Pan.

Matt said...

I was just informed by Alyssa that what Smucker's tried to patent was technically called "The Peanutbutter Shield."

Kim said...

Peanutbutter Shield? That sounds cool and space-agey, like Star Wars, only tastier.